RETREAT REFLECTIONS

... Now, I know that tangerines have no sensation, perception, volition, or consciousness. My response to tangerine impermanence will likely be different from my response to the ultimate experience of impermanence: death. But my experience with that wonderful tangerine is like a little tickle, pointing me towards something else.

-Alison

My Retreat Experience

I noticed a lot of things about myself during the retreat that I know are not wholesome, e.g. my impatience, irritability, and anger when dealing with other people; my seeking after pleasant states during meditation instead of simply returning to the practice technique; always wanting to be right; etc. I'd noticed these unwholesome states arising before during my daily life, but I had assumed that my behavior would naturally change after I had been meditating for a while. Now I think that in order for these unwholesome qualities to transform and stop characterizing how I interact with others and my environment, I need to bring mindfulness into every aspect of my daily life. This mindfulness then allows the possibility to choose a different route than my habitual pattern. I began to understand this a little bit during the retreat for the first time. It's harder than it sounds though.

But I have the sense that though there is a lot of work to be done, it's OK, there's no rush. I can start enjoying myself right now!

-Robert